52. Luigi’s Rollicking Roadsters
It should be noted first and foremost that Luigi has his fans. We’re not among them. The line teases you with air conditioning on a hot day, before booting you back outside for a long, winding line that is largely in the sun, where you wait for a slow and inefficient loading and unloading process, so you can spend a minute in a jerky version of a Cars square dance. Especially given the 20-plus minute lines that often accrue here and the quality of its Cars Land neighbors, spend that time someplace else.
51. Inside Out Emotional Whirlwind
When Disney announced they were building an Inside Out-themed ride on the ground that had been vacant since the Maliboomer departed in 2010, fans were generally receptive and excited, and are still waiting up to 30 minutes in line for this ride. The disappointing truth is that Inside Out was a property with a lot of potential, and Disney appears to have gone a somewhat lazier route by creating a jazzed-up re-skin of Flik’s Flyers from the now-demolished Bug’s Land area, then dropped it in Pixar Pier. Not Disney’s finest effort.
50. Jumpin’ Jellyfish
49. Golden Zephyr
48. Silly Symphony Swings
These three rides are originals from when California Adventure originally opened 20 years ago… and it shows. While Silly Symphony Swings has at least gotten a re-skin and some music added, none of the 3 are much more than permanent carnival rides, and are basically unremarkable in every way, which, for Disney, just isn’t enough.
47. Jessie’s Critter Carousel
Jessie’s is a redone effort based on King Triton’s Carousel, which was an underwater-themed carousel crammed between 2 far superior rides. They’ve addressed this by replacing the carousel with… a carousel themed to Toy Story Midway Mania critters that’s still crammed between far superior rides. Unless you’re really wild about carousels, stick to Disneyland’s original King Arthur Carrousel.
46. Goofy’s Sky School
While not the worst beating you’ll get from a roller coaster in Anaheim (see Matterhorn), the 90-second ride duration and careening angles of this ride combine for a mostly terrifying and/or painful experience, not really a FUN one. But it gets points over its neighbors for at least being a rollercoaster.
A 1955 original, this is our lowest ranked ride in Disneyland itself. At best, it’s the 5th most fun you can have in a car at the Disneyland Resort–6th if you include parking (at least it’s not Luigi’s). All jokes aside, a few coats of paint and redone restraints for the 50th anniversary in 2005 don’t do much for a ride that’s still, at its heart, a leisurely four and a half minute winding track at 5 mph past… mostly empty gardens and billboards. We call that suburbia.
44. Sailing Ship Columbia
The Columbia is a ½ size replica of the ship that first took the American flag around the world, and serves as a leisurely cruise around the Rivers of America with some below-deck educational notes about life on ships like these 200 years ago. The cannon fire by Tom Sawyer’s Island is a fun highlight, but the ride only operates 5 hours a day (if at all), takes 15 minutes to make its full circuit, and shares a loading dock with the Mark Twain, which can make boarding confusing and inconvenient. If it weren’t so tough to get aboard, it would rank at least 10-15 spots higher, but it does get some of those bonus points for its cameo in Fantasmic!.
43. Red Car Trolley
The only ride on Buena Vista Street is under refurbishment right now, but it’s had its issues. It’s a short ride with three stops that are likely faster walking, and until Disney cancelled its Newsboys show, the ride itself was often somewhat unpredictably commandeered by performers coming or going from the main hub of Buena Vista Street. A cool reminder of LA’s old Red Car line, the fact is the ride isn’t usually either functional or terribly interesting, but hey–it’s still got style.
42. Finding Nemo Submarines
The original beloved Submarine Voyage was a vintage and beloved classic… and then the ride spent almost 10 years dormant, from 1998 to its reopening as the Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage in 2007. The remake is usually not as good as the original, and in this case it holds true: Finding Nemo simply does not need a 14-minute ride. While a clever way to keep the subs up and running in the spirit of their predecessors, it lacks the wonder of the lost ship graveyard and creatures of the deep. Still, it’s a cool, shady, relatively quiet place to get out of the heat for a bit on a hot summer’s day, and you could do much worse.
41. Casey Jr. Circus Train
Be honest: You forgot this existed, which might be because once you pass age 14, it can be awfully tough to wedge yourself into. But it’s a nice little family ride around the back side of Fantasyland, and while it’s a hidden gem in its own way, it is absolutely buried (almost literally–the line’s entrance is tough to spot) in a land of nostalgia monsters.